John Lithgow and Alfred Molina seem so comfortable in their roles that you have no doubt these men have been together for half of their lives. They capture the ease of such a relationship, but also the irritability, the telepathic quick looks, and then the sudden swoons of intimacy (especially when the going gets rough).
Sachs and Zacharias have a great ear for the different rhythms of speech. Joey's youthful desire for privacy and boundaries is so acute that his language often seems frightened; he does not know how to assert himself, and he feels overrun. Ben tends toward melancholy; his words are contemplative riffs on whatever comes into his head. Kate is self-absorbed and stressed but doing the best she can in the void left by her absent husband. George, shut out of the Catholic Church that he still loves, tries to be practical and positive despite great pain.
"Love Is Strange" is not showily directed, and yet there are touches throughout that help ground us in the characters' inner lives. George coaches a young music student on her "interpretation" of Chopin (Chopin's music fills the soundtrack), and as she tries the piece again, the music intensifies his personal drama, and he's so overcome that he has to turn away to hide his tears. Joey stands on the landing of an apartment stairwell clutching a skateboard, crying by himself. Beyond the window is the green of the courtyard. The camera does not move; neither does the boy. He just stands there, crying for as long as he feels like crying, then getting himself together and continuing on down the stairs. It's a caesura, potent and powerful, unhurried and true. By that point in the story, we need it as badly as Joey does.
In movies it's the details that often bring transcendence—everyday moments illuminated by profundity or grace. Filmmakers discover them by observing how people listen to one another, the way they talk and touch, the pauses that settle unexpectedly between them, the silent private moments. It's a courageous film that's willing to sit in those moments instead of underlining them or hurrying past them, hoping we get the shorthand. "Love is Strange" is a patient film. The emotions it unleashes are enormous.
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